Secret Men's Business...

As I was walking into the Unibar toilets to take a mandatory urination stop I made a decision that every man has to make when he/she (most likely a he, unless you are manwoman) enters a public toilet, or as I like to call it, "the domain of the excretion of waste" (aka Casa Excretius). This decision is whether to use the: A) Urinal B) Toilet Bowl/Cubicle Of course each excretion apparatus has its pros and cons. I will not do a solid excretion on a urinal for example, that would just be plain silly. The urinal is designed for urinating (hence its name). The drainage mechanisms in the urinal are simply not designed to handle large solid volumes of waste. Thus, we have the toilet bowl. The toilet bowl is most commonly used for the purposes of 'taking a dump'. But it can also be used for urinating. However, we have a opportunity cost here...the time spent urinating in a toilet bowl is much greater than the time to urinate in a urinal...we are losing time urinating in a toilet bowl. Despite this fact, many toilet-goers decide to urinate in a bowl. This is a clear loss of productivity. Why am I pissed off? I don't mind it when people piss in a cubicle of their own, I won't be going up to them and say "HEY! Piss over here you tosser! You got better things to do than waste (literally) more time pissing here than you need to!" Hell, sometimes I urinate in the toilet bowl... But I make sure to not make noise! I aim to the sides of the bowl to reduce feedback noise. Here is my theory of Bowl Audio Splash Convergence...in this diagram, the green area is the optimum area to aim for minimum noise, the red area represents high noise probability... Bowl Audio Splash Convergence Diagram 1a: Where Green is optimum area, red is danger zone Today wasn't my day... When I decided to urinate in the urinals at the Unibar toilets today, I heard a tremendous splashing noise, not too disimilar to the noise a toilet makes when its on full flush. But the noise persisted for another 30 seconds, much too long for a flush. I later realised that this was not a flush noise...but a man (or manwoman) taking a piss right smack bang middle in the bowl! THERE WAS FEEDBACK! Is this person insane!?! The immense noise he made was deafening! I could hardly hear myself whistle as I excreted liquid waste! Such rude behaviour in a private place such as the Casa Excretius! Has society gone so low as to accept the disgusting behaviour of forcing my audience to the sound of urination?!?!?!? I don't need to hear splash, I really don't. If this guy can't aim then he better stick to the urinal. I was then washing my hands, only to see this uncaring ingrate walk out of the toilet WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS! Yeah his excuse might be "I don't piss on my hands" but I will never shake hands with a man who shook "himself" before me. Where's the consideration in other peoples hygene huh? I pray that man doesn't have a girlfriend or friends for that matter, for he could be spreading urine-born diseases such as Manwomanism. But isn't this behaviour symbolic of society in the 21st Century? There is no concern for the common good, it's all about me me me (the fact im ranting is further proof). So lets work together in creating a caring society where men urinate in peace and quiet. Ahhhhh, the serenity.... Ever wondered how a toilet bowl ticks? http://www.toiletology.com/bowl.shtml http://www.toiletology.com/howitwrk.shtml Did You Know? Australians are on the cutting edge of toilet design? The Caroma dual flush system is considered a flawless flush system. A 10 minute video of how the Caroma Dual flush system works.