SexGod - 1 Dolly Doctor - 0

These letters have come from the January 2005 issue of DOLLY, written to the Dolly Doctor, who needs to be put into his place! Letter #1 Last week, I went to my friend’s party. We all had too much to drink and my boyfriend and I had sex. When we finished, my vagina started hurting, and now, every time I go to the toilet it stings. Sometimes it just starts hurting for no reason. Has my boyfriend damaged it? Response from Dolly Doctor It does sound as though something has happened, but don’t panic! It could be something very simple and curable! …If you had sex without a condom, you should get checked for STI’s...It is very unlikely that the sex itself caused any physical harm, unless it was extremely rough... Mr SeX GoD’s Rebuttal One word…panic! Most likely you’ve screwed something up, whether or not it was due to the sex itself. Are you a clean person? Do you cheat on your boyfriend? Is this just karma bitting you back on the butt? Either way, its time to take control! Join that convent you were contemplating of! Start using soap and washing yourself more than once a month! Use a goddamn condom, unless you’re a die-hard catholic…though, if you were, you probably wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place! What am I trying to say? Im saying, stop blaming your boyfriend! (Though, if your looking for ideas for revenge, some suggest the use of scissors to remove any bits you want to hang on your wall, though I totally condemn that) They’re your special parts, and you need to be looking after them more carefully! I mean, there has to be thousands of transsexuals wishing they had the same parts as you, but nooooo, you have abuse what you were given! Bottom line…stick to masturbating…and with that, I suggest using a glove… Speaking of masturbation… Letter #2 I masturbated using a lubricant and I think I might have ripped myself because it really stings. Also, if I masturbate, do I need a pap smear? Response from Dolly Doctor Masturbation doesn’t cause any real physical harm, and you don’t need a pap smear unless you’ve had sexual intercourse…If you’ve been masturbating vigorously, you might have grazed or torn a bit of vaginal lining (for example, if you had long nails or used an object) …When you masturbate, make sure you wash your hands before and after… Mr SeX GoD’s Rebuttal Heres an example of someone needing a boyfriend/girlfriend! I mean, its obvious that she masturbates way TOO much as it is! That and shes into some really kinky stuff! Id like to firstly point out that when using objects to masturbate: A – Make sure the item has been washed, or place a condom onto it B – Make sure its not breakable. Make sure its not rusty/yucky! C – Umm, STOP OVER MASTURBATING! Also, there’s no need to be swirling the object around like your stirring a pot of pumpkin soup. Ive always thought gently as she goes was better than Sir-Mix-A-Lot! Finally, for the love of Jebus, WASH YOUR HANDS! You don’t need to masturbate straight after cleaning that toilet, or washing that dog…unless your absolutely turned on, which is so very very wrong… Ill be back before the end of the week with more letters!