World Domination: Phase One

There aren’t many things I’m afraid of, one of them however, are Clowns…They freak the hell out of me. Most people would think that the reason why I fear such horrible beings is because of the make-up. The white background foundation to a creepy looking red glow, but no, this is not the reason why I fear clowns. I fear…no… HATE clowns because they want to rule the world. Is it not obvious??? They are propaganda Machines, wanting to win the hearts and minds of young children infiltrating our society and building momentum. I CAN SEE THROUGH THAT! It’s a little cult, see, they want to make you THINK that you are being entertained, but the clowns are watching! They are always watching….waiting until the moment is right. They have all the necessary skills to take over the world, they can: · Multitask · Juggle · Make animal shapes out of balloons · Somersault · Laugh in a manical manner To be a clown you must be dedicated to a tradition that has lasted for hundreds of years. They are the modern day Samurai. They have agility, strength and are in large numbers strategically placed in capital cities all over the world. Do not be fooled! Clowns are more than figures in white makeup, they have evolved into more sophisticated satirical beings as well! There are now many types of clowns, each and every type specialized in a field to help take over the world. Clearly, this is a threat to my ambition of world domination. Clowns must be tamed to becoming my allies or be crushed as sworn enemies of my democratically elected dictatorship. I WANT TO SUPPRESS THIS THREAT. "Why? Is it because I'm black?" However, how can I compete with such an organized organization that orgazmically organizes organically? The solution is clear, I must establish my own world order post-haste. I need a dedicated set of troops that are easy to train and are incredibly loyal, intelligent and are able to make decisive decisions decisively. I struggled to think of the best method… *Thinking Music (Whip It! By Devo)* Alas! I have the answer! Monkeys! No, not that farcical band... I'm talking about the honorable Primate... Monkeys have the ability to act as GI’s for my new world order. They are smart, this website is just a display what monkeys are known for. They can write, use computers, take photos, there even used to be monkeys in NASA. This is making sense now...isnt it??? I have my reconnaissance, Air Force, Army and Navy in one little neat package. Everybody loves monkeys; you can’t hate a monkey…who in their right mind would want to harm a monkey? That will be the clown’s downfall, clowns aren’t endangered. Make way for my army of Monkeys, Chimpanzees, Gorillas…APES! Robert Redford Charlton Heston got it right…there will be a Planet of the Apes…and I will be their overruling dictator (democratically elected, of course). In fact I don’t need a whole army of monkeys, I only need one or two super-smart Chimps. Tremble in fear! And then finally I can subdue my evil foes! Hmmmm…on second thought, this plan might not work… Anyway, heed my warning! Be weary of clowns…and love monkeys (I hate the Monkees). Clowns will become a formidable political force in the near future. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you! Keep your eyes peeled friends! A small list of famous clowns Join the Anti-Clown Movement Gallery of Evil Clowns