It's All Good

Dear Diary, I am hoping that nobody reads this. I hope that this doesn’t reach its target audience. But knowing at least someone will know how good I am? That gives me the biggest orgasm since man landed on the moon. Behold my mind’s processes Let’s begin REVOLUTION 9 Why am I such a good person? Seriously, do I really have to be subjugated to the primordial filth that is people? I do not hold grudges or anything, but I remember 15 years ago when someone in the mall bumped into me. It was traumatic, not only because I spent 10 years in Boot Camp, but because I eat apples. Yes, I am a big believer in “treat others how you wish to be treated”. Come to think of it, I am a really good person….have I told myself that? Unfortunately there are infidels who do not agree with me. They are bitches. But I am not one to hold a grudge. Abuse is a form of therapy. Because we ALL need help in some way (thankyou Dr. Phil). I am a good person, because I have had a bar of soap jammed up my arse for a year now. I pity the fool that thinks that I am evil. Because frankly, I am a good person. Let me tell myself about some infidels: Example A) I am a really good person, and it offends people. Kinda like Bob. Bob is a bad person. I am a good person. Bob ate cake in my presence, this made me angry. It was carrot cake, with gingerbread men prancing on top. Bob knew better, I abused Bob. Bob deserved all the poor treatment I was giving him, because he needed therapy. I am a good person NUMBER 9 Example B) Oprah used to be a friend of mine. Until recently I abused Oprah, she didn’t appreciate my therapy. So Oprah tried to abuse me too. I am in the right, because (say it with me) I am a good person. I am so good I should be a Saint. Hold that thought, I am too good for Christ. Unfortunately it takes pain and suffering for someone to be a better person. Christ was not good enough. I have had this bar of soap lodged in my arse for a year, what has He done? Died? Pffft. Who cares? I AM A GOOD PERSON Example C) I was shaving yesterday and Godzilla knocked on the door and I was like LOLZ. What a n00b, I am like a totally lvl 95 Human with the Sword of 2000 Truths. ROFFEL. I heard Godzilla had like a totally sweet Helmet of Enlightenment, but I had an extra mana potion. Godzilla totally got pwned. NIIIIIIICE NUMBER 9 I hate two faced people. I can be two faced because (yes) I AM A GOOD PERSON. I don’t need any explanation because I AM A GOOD PERSON I like abusing the fuck out of people because I AM A GOOD PERSON Hip-hop ain’t what it used to be because I AM A GOOD PERSON Nigger need be preaching because I AM A GOOD PERSON People who try to be friends with me are bitches because I AM A GOOD PERSON Play y’all my homies, don’t you know the truth…fo’ real, ‘cause we don’t stop. We keep rockin’ y’all I have never felt this way about anyone else. I am not up myself LOLZ, I hate fights. Life is hard, why do I have to live. Shit I forgot! I can just kill myself. I should really do that one day. Laters you foul, oil swindling pig infidels! WHOOO, feels better posting on the internet than putting it in a word document. I don't like offending people.