Cricket Sledging

As anyone who knows me quite well will tell you, I am undoubtadly one of the biggest cricketing tragics you'll meet. I mean if I keep living at home till I'm 30 and start growing really thick eyelashes, who knows, maybe one day I'll be able to rip off a show that is really great but takes the piss out of me. Anyway, one of my favourite things in the sport of cricket is sledging. It makes the game. So I thought I'd use this first blog at the Casbah to show some of these fine examples of sportsmanship. You'll notice Merv Hughes features alot in this. 1. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During the 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman. 2. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say fuck off." 3. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During the 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't fucking bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary:"Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't fucking bat & you can't fucking bowl." 4. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes: After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler enquired, "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit," Brandes replied. 5. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock: After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground. "You know what it looks like, now go find it," Ponting replied. 6. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted. This may have been where Shane's impetus to take diuretics came from. 7. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" "Wife's fine, kids are retarded", was Botham's reply. 8. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat cunt." Anyway kids, get out there and enjoy your cricket. And don't forget after reading these wonderful examples of sportsmanship, to show your opposition the same respect.