Puff Puff Puff Away

What do Ashley Olsen and Leonardo DiCaprio have in commmon? Apart from being cool? They smoke. So we have two facts: They both smoke They are both cool Now that's hot AND sexy So let's summarise our findings and conclude that smoking makes you cool and rich. I believe smoking makes you popular, rich and cool. Why do you think so many people smoke? Sure the addictive nicotine might have to do with it, but it's got to do with success. Success like you've never seen before. William Shatner smokes. Let's face it, smoking makes you a better person. Once you start smoking I gurantee your wildest dreams will come true. This is no exaggeration. You may be asking if I smoke. I don't, but that's because I'm a loser. People that smoke may not explicitly say that smoking is for winners, but it's what they think deep down inside. Non-smokers are NOT cool, we simply aren't that hip. Guess what? This guy doesn't smoke Dustin Diamond smokes (yes he's sexy, he made his own porno, how can he NOT). But don't take my word for it. Many popular US Presidents smoked. These included Teddy Roosevelt, Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton...and John F. Kennedy (who insisted on Cuban cigars...yes, the IRONY). Are you starting to see the trend here? Smoking makes you smart and alert. This is why many racing drivers smoke. George W. Bush doesn't smoke, what does that say about non-smokers huh? Albert Einstein smoked (probably). Smoking MAY make you sick. Cancer and the such, quite annoying. But that doesn't stop smokers, because they are SMART, they understand that in the long run it doesn't matter. People love giving pity and nothing is sexier than trying to pickup ladies on your deathbed. Set your life support machines to "sexy" and let tobacco do the lovemaking. David Hasselhoff smokes. Let's look at the other side of the debate. Anti-smoking organisations and lobby groups. ARE THEY COOL? Are they living the high life in limos and private jets? NO! Of course not, they are mostly volunteer groups that run on teeny weeny budgets that would be one eigth of a tobacco company's CEO salary for the year. So it's the Marlboro Man versus Patrick Reynolds (anti-smoking spokesperson). 'Nuff said. vs. The tobacco industry creates jobs, it is good for tobacco farmers and for the healthcare industry. Rising costs, schmising costs. Big business makes big sense, big sense means big COOL. So kids take a look at the anti-smoking campaign ads, take a good hard look. Are THEY cool? Then look around the corner to see that street bum smoking....now THAT'S cool. I offer an alternative solution for those that want to look cool without getting sick (although I don't know why, as it is one of the benefits of smoking...idiot). Justin and I are marketing a new brand in smoking that has taken the world by storm. Look Cool Without Getting Sick, coming to a store near you.