Air: Man’s Worst Enemy?

Although it there has been scientific evidence that air does indeed help humans live, recent laboratory tests in Bolivia has shown that air (more specifically O2 molecules) taken in excess can be deadly. Dr. Pedro-Guerro, leading professor and utmost authority on Airology told CCN in an exclusive interview “While we have yet to gather the latest rounds of results, currently it seems that air can be deadly if breathed in beyond a human’s lung capacity”. Dr.Pedro-Guerro’s work could have serious ramifications around the globe. Whilst the research is still in its infancy, the House of Representatives in the U.S. has already legislated the Freedom Act, which will enable security forces in the country to combat excess O2 molecules. In a press conference yesterday, President George W. Bush has asked Congress for a further US$35 billion to fight excess air in Iraq. The CIA has also expressed concern that North Korea may be shipping illegal pure air into Iran, a trade which has made various members of Congress worried. Terrorists have access to air already. But Government officials have played down the risks of an Air Bomb attack. Dr.Pedro-Guerro comments “Air is deadly, but for it to be used as a weapon of mass destruction would be highly unlikely, the mortality rate would be far too low”. How do we protect ourselves? Until a cure can be found, or better yet, a vaccine. Patients that suffer from the following symptoms: · Increased rate of breathing · Dizziness · Tingling sensations · Hallucinations Are urged to see their nearest GP. The best preventative measure to stop an “O2 overdose” is to use common sense. Common sense has been found to be the cheapest way to stop this new threat. Several hospitals in Adelaide have set up specialised breathing clinics to ensure that the population knows how to use newly created Government Standard breathing technique ‘BreatheSmart’. All lessons are covered under Medicare. Should we panic? Possibly. With cases of SARS still common around the globe, respiratory problems are continually on the rise. What is needed is multi-billion investments in new drugs to combat the ever sliding levels of common sense. We asked to interview Federal Health Minister Tony Abbott for an interview but has declined. Shame Mr. Abbott, shame.